The Evil Summer Fic
by ashez2ashes
Summary: A spoof on corny next generation fics. Ukyou and Ryouga take their kids on a vacation...[one shotsuploaded together]
1. The Evil Summer Fic

The following is a spoof, not to be taken seriously in anyway or really looked at gramatically. It's just meant to be read and possibley make you laugh once or twice...Although, comments would be nice...  
  
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Disclaimer: Don't own Ranma. Like big duh there huh? . . . Ah what the hell I cannot lie to you! I AM RUMIKO TAKIHASHI! Pay me!...BWHAHAHHAHA...hey...who are those masked guys at the door? Oh they're selling Avon! Of course! Silly me. Better let them in...   
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THE EVIL SUMMER FIC  
  
The Hibiki family were on vacation. Yes, the Hibiki family. Ukyou and Ryouga got married after a life changing adventure of epic proportions that changed the very fabric of time and space and gave perfectly plausible reasons for why they were not with Akari and Konatsu.  
  
Which everyone has heard before, so no reason to go over it again.  
  
Oh and Tsubasa died, for no reason at all.  
  
Eh what the heck, Happosai did too.   
  
Anyways, Ryouga and Ukyou were now a family according to a piece of paper from the government. And so, as people are naught to do after they get hitched, they had a couple of brats to liven up the place a little. Unfortunately, they lost the receipts and were unable to take them back after they had begun talking.  
  
Big bummer there.  
  
After that, some other stuff happened and then they decided to go on vacation. It was after all, the thing families did for some reason.  
  
"Daddy! He's looking at me funny!"  
  
"Stop bothering your sister!"   
  
The eight-year-old boy who just went by boy (Why bother to keep giving the kids names if they just got lost before you could invest any time in them?) scooted closer to his younger sister.  
  
"Mwhahahahha! Prepare for your death! Dad taught me a new technique! The ultimate . . . touch of death!" He pointed his index finger and waved it in front of his sister face.  
  
"No he didn't!" The girl said 'cause you know, her name was just girl.  
  
"Ultimate Baksai Tenkillyu!"  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHH! MU-OM!"  
  
The station-wagon swerved violently off the road, falling on it's side for a moment, and then righting itself. It was an old vechile, but it worked...sorta...sometimes....once in awhile...   
  
Ryouga turned calmly around from the front seat.  
  
"Now children be good or Mommy might accidentally kill us all."  
  
"But Dad! He tried to make my face explode!"  
  
Ah, how many times had he heard that one? He had to pay attention to these two, they'd stuck around for nearly eight years. If they made it to junior high, maybe he'd even give them names.  
  
"What did I tell you about using ultimate killing techniques on your siblings?"  
  
"Only use them against the Saotome kids from across the street?"  
  
"Exactly! That's my girl!" Ryouga reached back and ruffled her hair.  
  
The car careened off the road again.  
  
"Hey, where's your baby brother?" Ryouga scratched his head. The little boy pointed beside him at a little blue bundle that was bashing a rattle against the car door, creating large dents in the frame.  
  
"Ah that's good. Thought we were going to have to replace that one too."  
  
"Daddy! I'm hungry!" The little girl waved her hands around obnoxiously. "When are we gonna eat somethin?"  
  
The toddler created a few more dents in the door.  
  
"We're going to stop at a rest stop soon and Mommy's gonna fix us some okonomiyaki."  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" was the collective response from the children that could talk. The baby just sat and drooled some. He WAS just a baby after all.  
  
"But we have okinomiyaki everyday!"  
  
"Please don't make us eat it again!"  
  
"Anything but that!"  
  
"Shhh!" Ryouga glared and then looked warily at the woman driving next to him. Luckily, she was too busy being consumed with road rage and cussing out the passing cars to notice any sacred Hibiki family law being broken.  
  
"How dare you cut off a beautiful business owner like me?! I'm an okonomiyaki chef damn it! Yeah you better speed up! I don't even have to get out of the car to kick your ass! I'd just have my kids do it for me!"  
  
Phew, it was a good thing she didn't hear the kids talking, or she coulda REALLY gotten angry...   
  
"Ow! Stop it! . . . Ow! . . . Ow! Dad! He won't stop slapping me! Make him stop! . . . Ow! Make him stop!"  
  
Ryouga growled and turned around again.   
  
"Hit your sister one more time and your not getting any food next time we stop."  
  
The little boy opened his mouth to reply and shut it quickly. Not having food was worse than death! Or having the Saotome girl steal your pudding cups and push you in the mud everyday! Not that those things happened . . . cause they didn't. And if he didn't eat he'd shrivel up and his stomach would cave in and the pressure would like...do stuff and he'd explode!  
  
The little boy made a solemn vowel to be good until he had eaten.  
  
His sister glanced up at her parents to see if they were watching. Satisfied that they were both watching the road, she brought her palm up to her arm and . . .  
  
SLAP!  
  
"THAT'S IT! NO FOOD FOR YOU, MISTER!"  
  
"But I . . . But I . . ." The little boy turned in shock to see his sister smiling sadistically at him.  
  
Oooooh so that's how she was going to play the game eh? Well fine. Be that way. The family didn't need a girl child. He would bide his time. He would have his revenge, yes he would. He would be the top child in the family. None of them would be able to stop--  
  
"Aaaaaaaaah! The baby's biting me! Make him stop!"  
  
The little boy yanked his hand free and glared at the baby. Stupid baby! The little boy glared at the toddler next to him. The baby just smiled. The boy glared harder. The baby pointed a chubby finger to his temple as his smile turned sinister . . .  
  
"Aaaaaaaaah! Switch me places sis! The baby's freaking me out again!"  
  
"No way! He bites." The little girl looked thoughtful for a moment. "Ya now, he hasn't been the same ever since we accidentally left him in that temple with those guys with black hoods." She shrugged.  
  
"Daddy?" The little girl put on her, 'look at me I"m so cute, I never do anything wrong it's always my brother's fault' look. "Are you sure we can't go to McDonald's or something?"  
  
The room fell suddenly silent.  
  
She had said...THE WORD.  
  
"I don't want to hear you speak profanity like that in this car!"  
  
"S-sorry Daddy." She implored the 'I'm the cutest little girl in the world with pigtails' look agian.  
  
"Aww, it's ok honey."  
  
The little boy glared. The baby...just clasped his fingers together and mumbled to himself.  
  
Silence was sent down by the Gods for 4.6 seconds...wonderful wonderful wonderful wonderful wonderful wonderful wonderful wonderful wonderful wonderful wonderful....wonderful silence. But the gods didn't say it multiple times because they knew it would only make the word sound odd until authors of the world would look at the word 'wonderful' and wonder...is it REALLY a word?  
  
"Dad! Do the wonderful thing!" The little girl put on her cutesy overdose-on-sugar-eat my-heart-out-chibi-usa-cute look again.  
  
Ryouga blinked. "Wonder-what?"  
  
"Nevermind! You know, the glowy thing!"  
  
"But I just showed you an hour ago, kids and--"  
  
"Pleeeeeease?" The little girl elbowed her brother in the ribs.  
  
The little boy looked up. "Eh? Um...yeah right! Do the thing Dad! It's so amazing and uh cool!"  
  
"You're the coolest dad ever!" The little girl smiled.  
  
"Yeah, we're in awe of your awesome and god-like skills."  
  
"Eh, I don't know about God-like." Ryouga blushed. Aww, maybe the kids weren't so bad after all.  
  
The little boy and girl smiled.  
  
Just a little more and he'd give them ten extra bucks to spend at the park!  
  
The car swerved off the road again, hit a mailbox, and then righted itself.  
  
"Ahhhhhhh!" was the response from everyone but the driver.  
  
"But we didn't even say anything this time!" The little girl sniffled.  
  
"Someone cut me off!" Ukyou growled in the 'I am mom hear me roar, no cookies before supper' kinda way that makes children throughout the world tremble in fear.  
  
"Oh no!" The little girl pointed. "It's those snooty amazons!"  
  
And sure enough, like the death star coming into view, a brand new minivan pulled alongside the Hibiki station wagon. It's sides gleamed like new, 'cause it was. The thing of newly polished evil shone brightly in the daylight. But that meant nothing compared with what was inside, three evil triplet mini shampoo's (travel size). The little girls in identical Tommy Hilfilger outfits rolled down the window and stuck their tongues out at the Hibiki kids.  
  
"Nyahh! Nyaah! The Hibiki's are real dirty! They're mom is over thirty! They can't find their way, even to the top of their bootay!"  
  
"...Ahhhh! they're almost as bad as the Saotome girl!" No one was as bad as the Saotome girl, the little boy knew that from experience. No one knew the true horror of the red haired demoness...  
  
"Almost?! Lather, Rinse and Repeat are pure evil! They knock your tree houses down! They can't rhyme very well! I've seen hell because of them! Kill um mom!" The little girl pushed her brother over and rolled down the window. "Prepare to die Amazon bimbo brats!"  
  
Ryouga, despite feeling a nice sense of nostalgia, still felt he had to do the parent thing so he turned around.   
  
"Calm down." Yes, that sounded like a very parenty thing to say.  
  
"But they're wearing Tommy Hilfiger! They HAVE to be evil!"  
  
True. Ah, such smart children he raised. Well, sorta raised. Television did most of the work.  
  
"Honey, they're only children and--" Ryouga was cut off by another older voice coming from the Amazon mini-van.  
  
"Stupid spatula girl car look like it fall apart yes? Get too crowded and finally decide to take pig family out to bigger mud hole to graze?"  
  
...  
  
"GET THEM UKYOU!"  
  
"RUN THEM OFF THE ROAD MOM!"  
  
"MAKE THEM WISH THEY NEVER WERE BORN!"  
  
The baby gurgled something that sounded remotely like 'redrum'.  
  
And thus, Ukyou sped up in a highspeed family drag race with dazzingly special effects, harrowing near death experiences, and losta other stuff which looks too damn hard to type out. It was really uh...wonderful.  
  
Boom! Crash! And stuff.  
  
"Yeah mom! We ran them over the railing!" The little girl cheered.  
  
"That's what you get form messing with the Hibiki's!"  
  
The baby bashed his rattle against the door like a gorilla who has just snapped an unsuspecting tourists neck. You know, all savage like.  
  
Ryouga looked over at Ukyou. "Should we be worried we raised heartless and ruthless children?"  
  
Ukyou shrugged. "Nah."  
  
"Let's go have fun at the amusement Park!" The little boy cheered. He was happy too. That's why he was cheering.  
  
Little did the Hibiki's remember that after their really cool car chase their car was lying in the middle of the road. Aka. the middle of traffic. Where other cars can hit it.  
  
And so one did.  
  
Recycled Boom! Crash!  
  
And so, the Hibiki's family vacation ended like most family vacation do: by their stationwagon carreening off a cliff that then fell into a bed of sharp rocks, and promplty bursting into flames.  
  
Somewhere in the Saotome family car...  
  
Akane turned around. "Eh, did you hear something? I thought we just hit something."  
  
Ranma shrugged. "Couldn't have been very important." He glanced over his shoulder. "Hey kid, where'd you get all that pudding?  
  
A redheaded little pigtailed girl in the back giggled. "I dunnoooo...."  
  
THE END...probabley  
  
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Contact Info:  
ashez2ashes@yahoo.com  
http://www.geocities.com/ashez2ashes/ 


	2. The Evil Summer Fic2: Revenge of the Hib...

**IMPORTANT NOTE!**:  
You HAVE to read the first part of this fic for this part to make sense...well it won't make a whole lot of sense anyways so you better read the first one.  
  
Go to http://www.geocities.com/ashez2ashes/evilsumfic.txt and read it. Trust me. Btw, this is a spoof. I'd still like comments...just don't take this fic too seriously.   
  
Contact Info:  
ashez2ashes@yahoo.com  
http://www.geocities.com/ashez2ashes  
  
  
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Disclaimer: Yes I do own Ranma. Fools! Didn't you know Rumiko Takihashi spends her free time writing English fanfics? Oh! And the all mighty Rumiko (who I am) does not need comments on grammer! Damn grammar all to hell! And for all you grammer phobics out there...Look! Inappropriate commas!,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,  
  
MWHAHAHHAAHA!  
  
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The Evil Summer Fic2: Revenge of the Hibikis  
  
When we last saw our heroes the Hibikis, they were dead.  
  
But, this being a sequel and all, the story has to have them in it. Otherwise it would be: The Hibiki's bodies laid there, they started to rot, some wolves came....etc etc, very icky stuff. So despite what looked like happened, the Hibikis were alive, thanks to...uh...  
  
"Good thing you knew that super special escape-with-family-from-burning-car-going-over-a-cliff-and-come-out-unscathed-technique Dad!"  
  
Yeah, that'll work.  
  
Ryouga nodded. "And here I thought everything the automobile saftey master had taught me would never be of any use."  
  
"But what are we going to do now? We don't have a car." The little girl looked sad and forlornly at their lost vechile...or more exactly at the candy bar that had been sitting on the seat...DAMN THOSE AMAZONS!  
  
The Hibikis looked around, confused. They were lost, cold, hungry, and stranded. All of which they were kinda used to, except for their car being a fiery ball of death. But Ukyou wasn't going to be brought down by some stupid near death experience! She paid good money for those tickets! And they were damn well gonna use them even if they died trying!  
  
So, she employed the usual technique they used in situations like this.  
  
"Ryouga! Go out there and stop a car with your body!"  
  
"Okay." Ryouga sighed and walked out into the middle of the road. He coulda said no, but he didn't want to anger the only person in the family with a sense of direction. It woulda been totally inappropriate, like putting commas where they don't belong,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,.  
  
Ukyou snapped her fingers. "Oh yeah, and take the kids too! It'll toughen them up!"  
  
"NOOOOOOOOO!" The kids stopped in their tracks. Except for the baby, he gurgled some in Ukyou's arms. He IS a baby. What did you expect? Super martial arts baby moves? JEEEZ.  
  
"Hike up those pants a little more Ryouga! Show some leg! We're not staying by the side of this road forever!"  
  
Ryouga sighed and looked down the road. The black tar spread around for miles and miles, in an endless sea of...uh tar. He wondered if they would be trapped here forever...  
  
Who would save them from this horrible predictament? Would they die on the side of the road? Would someone find them three years later as a bunch of dried up skeletons? Would their waywerd souls haunt the highway for the rest of time?! What will happen to the Hibiki family?! OH NO! CAN THIS BE THE END?!  
  
"Oooh. Dad's glowing again."  
  
Meanwhile, in the Saotome-mobile...  
  
"Dananannananana BATMAN!"  
  
"Please stop that kid."  
  
"Okay Daddy!" A super cute brown haired girl with pigtails giggled from the back seat of a not quite old blue minivan. She was the epitome of cuteness. Think of the most cute thing you have ever seen, than tell yourself you suck because you couldn't think of something as cute.   
  
She embodied everything that little boys fear most in the world.  
  
She...was the little pigtailed girl.  
  
Oh yeah, and an older Ranma and Akane were in the car. She kinda needed them to drive for her and give her money. But they're really unimportant in the grand scheme of things. They got old and thus never did anything interesting anymore. And Ranma is the super martial arts god everyone expected him to be, bla bla bla yawn yawn yawn.  
  
Ranma scratched his nose from the front seat. "Oh look Akane. It's a gajin stranger on the side of the road. For some reason I feel he could solve all our problems, possibley be related to one of us, and be unbeleivabley powerful too... Whoops. Sideswipped him. Nevermind."  
  
"I gotta go to ta baffroom!" The little girl whined.  
  
"Yeah, yeah. That's why we had to turn around. I got ya."  
  
And so they came upon the waywerd Hibiki family...  
  
"Oh look!" Ukyou pointed to a car coming toward them. "It's Ranma and Akane's car! What an amazing twist of fate that however is still completley beleivable in the context of our lives!"  
  
Ryouga nodded sagely. "Yep."   
  
"Ranchan! Over here!" Ukyou waved down the car. "Hey! Ryouga! Get out of the road! Ya wanna get hit jackass?"   
  
Ryouga's eyebrow twitched as he shuffled off the road. "We ARE married you know. Maybe you should stop calling him Ranchan."  
  
"Don't want to. I'd loose one of my signature phrases!" She glared at her stupid husband. "You got a problem with it?"   
  
Ryouga, realizing this would upset the delicate balance of the universe and leave her without an easy way to stay in character, decided to agree. "You are right dear."   
  
"Wha? Mr. Saotome's car?" The little boy felt a lump of candy-coated terror form in his stomache. Where the Saotome car is...SHE would be. He would have to spend hours in a car with...HER. The terrible thought was more too much for his mind to handle. There was only one thing he could do.  
  
End it all!  
  
Ryouga grabbed the back of his son's shirt as he tried to throw himself off the cliff. "You'd just bounce kid. Grin and bear it like a man."   
  
The baby looked slightly disapointed.  
  
"Don't worry. If you end up marrying her, she's sure to treat you better."  
  
The boy looked even more suicidal. "You mean like how mom treats you?"  
  
"Yes...how...your mom treats me..." Ryouga glared. "Go get in the car."  
  
"Ranchan!" Ukyou ran up to Ranma as he stopped his car beside the family.   
  
The window of the minivan rolled down and Ranma stuck his head out the window.  
  
"Hi Ucchan! Ya need a ride?"  
  
"Yeah, our car fell off the cliff and exploded." Ukyou looked down at the flaming wreckage that had been their car. A fairly large fire had started...someone would PROBABLY put that out... eventually.   
  
"I hate when that happens." Ranma pointed behind him. "Get in! We've got plenty of room. Besides, it'll give the kid someone else to bother and we can catch up."  
  
And thusly, the Hibikis piled into the Saotome car that had like 10 seats. Sure it was a normal car in the previous evil summer fic part, but it was a car of the future! They can change at will!   
  
Oh, and the little boy was knocked out and dragged into the car, but he got in the thing nonetheless.   
  
Ryouga and Ukyou sat directly behind Ranma and Akane. The Kids followed next, except the baby, who was held in Ukyou's arms. Which the baby didn't like...because it was mightily hard to be evil while being bounced on someone's knee.  
  
Damn those mortals...they'll pay one day...yessss one day...  
  
The baby was suddenly distracted by a teething ring Ukyou waved in front of his face. Damn it all! He had been foiled again! How could she put such impossible choices in front of him?! Plotting hostile takeover of the world in the name of evil, or teething? He couldn't let his plans be sidetracked by the caregiver one! But...the ring...it was so shiny and plasticy...No! He would overcome! He would make these mortals fear him as they should!  
  
Ukyou shoved the ring in his mouth. MMMmmm...plasticy...  
  
"So Ranchan..." Ukyou glanced down at the baby...he seemed to be fussying over something. She hoped he didn't need changed again. "How's the dojo?"  
  
"Same old same old. Defeated some guy named Ryu, then some guy named Goku and I think there was a god the other day too. Oh! And we repainted the sign! It looks really good! Right Akane?"  
  
Akane raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, you painted inside the lines and everything."  
  
Ranma looked proud.  
  
The conversation degenerated into some really boring grownup stuff, like bills and deathmatches, and what household cleaners work the best so.....  
  
LAZY AUTHOR VIEWPOINT SWITCH!  
  
In the back of the car, the little boy rejoined the consious world. He looked around and immediatly knew where he was...HELL. Seeing the packs of pudding in the back of the van only confirmed it. He desperatley grabbed at the door but the metal hinges to his prision refused to budge.  
  
DAMN THOSE CHILD SAFTELY LOCKS ALL TO HELL!  
  
He had to escape before SHE noticed he was awake!  
  
"SNOOCKYKINS!"  
  
NOOOOOOOOO!   
  
The little boy silently held his head in defeat.  
  
The pigtailed girl batted her eyelashes and scooted closer to the little boy. "I missed you! I hadn't seen you at school for everrrrrr and everrrrr. I was getting worried 'bout you!"  
  
"I was out of the country."  
  
"Doing what?" Her eyes got impossibley more cutesie.  
  
"Trying to stay away from you....and buy more pudding." He had sworn the cornor store was only a block away...Oh well.  
  
The pigtailed girl scooted even closer to the object of her affections, laying her head on his shoulder. The little boy tried to flatten himself against the car door to get away from her.  
  
"Do you love me?" She performed evil eyelash bat attack again.  
  
"No." He countered with 'scared little boy smashed into the car door more' technique.  
  
"Ok snoockykins."  
  
"That's not my name damn it."  
  
"Then what IS your name?"  
  
"I uh..don't have one."  
  
"Then it must be snookcykins!"  
  
"NO IT'S NOT!"  
  
"Stop picking on the cute little pigtailed girl!" Ukyou smashed her son in the head with her spatula and then went back to her boring adult conversation. How did she fit the thing in the vechile and manage to hit someone with it in the limited ceiling-space of a car?  
  
Four words man. CAR-OF-THE-FUTURE.  
  
"......." was the little boy's response as he rubbed the bump on his head.  
  
"Oh! Are you ok? Want me to kiss it and make it better?"  
  
"No!" He tried the door knob again. Maybe if he broke the glass and threw himself out. Sure his mom would be pissed, but if he managed to run fast enough...  
  
"Are you going to marry me someday snoockyins?"  
  
"Would you stop that?!"  
  
The little girl lifted her head from his shoulder. "Got any pudding?"  
  
"No. And I hope you get fat." The little boy glared.  
  
"Would you marry me if I was fat?"  
  
"No!"  
  
"So you'll marry like am I? How sweet of you!"  
  
"We're ten! I don't want to marry you!"  
  
"How about later?"  
  
"No. Never. Leave me alone."  
  
"How can I leave my snookykins alone?"  
  
"Would you just stop bothering me?!"  
  
"Don't yell at the people giving us rides!" The little hibiki girl punched her brother in the arm. Man, this car was boring! That other girl was bothering her brother and she had no one to torment.  
  
She glanced out the window and sighed. Nobody to fight...No one to argue with. Her eyes widened as she spotted something on the horizon. "OOOOOOOoooooooooooOOooooOO! KAROKE BAR! STOP!"  
  
Ryouga glanced over his shoulder. "You're too young to be in a karoke bar."  
  
"Hey I've been in plenty of--"  
  
"I am not dragging you away again! No daughter of mine is going to become a pop star!"  
  
The little girl jumped up in her seat and pointed dramatically at the heavens. "Just wait and see! Someday I'll turn the dojo into a karoke bar! Mark my words!"  
  
Ranma snickered. "You have a dojo? I've never seen it. where is it?"  
  
"I dunno." Ryouga shrugged. "I've been there a couple of times...apparently there are students."  
  
"IT'S NEXT TO OUR HOUSE YOU MORON!"  
  
"Whoa. Really?"  
  
Ukyou glared at her stupid husband.  
  
"That's what that building is for?" Ranma scratched his head.  
  
"I've told you about it before Ranma." Akane rolled her eyes.  
  
"Really?"  
  
Akane glared at her stupid husband. And somewhere in Idaho, Argentina, Bejing, India, Canada, Britian, Korea, and a couple other million places, a lady glared at her stupid husband. There are a lot of stupid husbands in the world.   
  
Akane glanced at Ukyou's baby and decided to ignore her stupid husband. And somewhere in Peru, Oregon...aw screw it. You get the picture.   
  
"Are you sure your baby's old enough to have a bandanna? He won't choke on it?" Akane touched the soft piece of cloth hanging limply around the baby's head. The baby wasn't TOO young, so it probably wouldn't do too much damage...  
  
The baby's eyes followed her hand, weighing a mental battle of whether to bite her hand off, or continue with his teething ring...  
  
Mmmm plasticy...  
  
"It's to cover up the third eye." Ukyou shrugged.  
  
Akane laughed softly. "Funny Ukyou."  
  
"Eheheh yeah...funny ...joke." Ukyou coughed, and tried to change the subject. "Hey Ranchan, where are we now?"  
  
Ryouga snorted beside her.  
  
"Oh, we're not that far away. You guys going to the amusement park too?"  
  
"Yeah." Ukyou nodded.  
  
Ranma looked wistful for a moment as he gazed outside of the window. Things were so peaceful now. No fiancees, no curses, just a wife who beat him over the head with a frying pan. But hey! He was proud of his wife. Not everyone could kill someone with a frying pan TWO different ways!   
  
"Ah. Remember when we were young and you used to try to kill me, Ryouga?  
  
"He tried to kill you the other day when he and Ukyou came over to borrow a cup of sugar." Akane sighed.  
  
"Oohhhh yeah."   
  
Ryouga smashed his hand into his palm. "I knew I was forgetting something!"   
  
He pushed Ranma out of the window--  
  
But Ranma was instantly back in his seat.  
  
"Argh! Ryouga! That wasn't funny!  
  
"Damn that automobile saftey master." Ryouga cursed all of the levels of hell that he knew and one that he heard of from one of his older kids. What was that one again? He was almost sure he'd given that one a name...   
  
The little pigtailed girl giggled and winked at the little boy next to her. "Grownups are funny."  
  
"Grrr."  
  
"Awww, you're cute when you growl, Snoockykins."  
  
"....." The little boy prayed for death.  
  
And thus, since there had been a lot of talking without anything happening for awhile, Ranma's car pulled into gas station. The little pigtailed girl had to go the bathroom and all. Why was there a gas station nearby? Because gas stations can explode you fools!   
  
"There you go." Ranma glanced back and looked meanifully at his daughter. "Hurry up, ok? Go straight there and back. We'll wait here."  
  
"But it's dark and scary over there!" The little pigtailed girl looked so cute passerby had to resist the urge to smack her. "I don't wanna go alone!"  
  
Ranma and Akane felt the immense shame that was upon their family.  
  
Ukyou, used to immense shame, lost children, and having a son that was on the international most wanted list, rolled her eyes. She pointed at her little boy. "Go with her!"  
  
The little boy's eyes lit up. He could runaway and get lost! Thank you Gods!  
  
"Here's a leash so he doesn't get lost." She tossed a bunchee chord to the little girl. "He's not as bad as some of the otehrs but it never hurts to carry restraints."  
  
Damn the Gods! "A leash?!" The little boy, heir to the Hibiki depression and oridinatley bad luck (he was special)...freaked out a bit. "DON'T GIVE HER THAT! PLEASE! PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME GO WITH HER! JUST LEAVE ME AT THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!"  
  
"Yeah!" The little girl smiled. "Thank you Miss Hibiki."  
  
Yada yada yada, Ukyou said your welcome and then threw the little boy outside, the story is dragging, etc etc...now the kids are outside!  
  
The little pigtailed girl smiled again...actually, the smile hardly ever leaves her face. So from now on, the brat is ALWAYS smiling. "I'm gonna buy some pudding!"  
  
The little boy looked wistful ('cause he has more than one expression). "Some day, I'll get some pudding of my own..."  
  
"Silly boy, pudding is for girls."  
  
"That makes no sense."  
  
"If you want..." The little pigtailed girl tugged on the tether to pull him closer. "Pudding can be my dowrrrrrry."  
  
"Must...learn...ShiShi Hodokan thing."  
  
The kids entered the gas station.  
  
"Excuse me Mr.! Can I use your bathroom?" asked the little boy.  
  
The gas station attendent was big and fat and his stained shirt was too small for him. Why was he fat? Because all gas station attendents are fat! (If you reading this and are a gas station attendent: HAHAHA! YOU ARE FAT!).  
  
"NO! YOU CANNOT!" Not only was he big and fat, he was angry because his porno did not arrive at his house today.  
  
"Here's some porno." The little boy handed him some hentai......from somewhere. It's best not to question it too much.  
  
"Oh okay! You're all right kid. Go on ahead." He threw the keys at him.  
  
For once, the little girl looked caught off guard slightly. She was expecting a large drawn out battle and argument for the keys, where hilarity would ensue. Now they were just going to the bathroom? It seemed a bit anti climatic.  
  
But little did they know......THAT THE BABY HAD GOTTEN OUT OF THE CAR!  
  
"Gwa." said the baby as he crawled across the gas station. (Translation: When the hell am I gonna learn to talk.)  
  
"Baa baa ga ga." (I'm never going to get any lines if I just drool all the time.)  
  
"Bee de bla ga." (I think I'm a ripoff of Stewey from Family Guy).  
  
"Gig big ga." (Hey, look. It's a pile of matches. That is very dangerous in a gas station. Someone could get hurt).  
  
"Bee cha googie da!" (I'm gonna play with them!)  
  
The little baby crawled over to the matches. Oh, and there was some open gasoline. And some shitty pump stations that leacked there too (the guy didnt' feel like fixing them or telling anyone), because hentai fans are big, fat, AND lazy! (Note to self: Move to different town).  
  
The little baby reached out his chubby little hand toward the matches. He then picked one out and, being a freakishly smart little baby, started to strike it up...  
  
"STOP!" Ryouga grabbed his child. "Your mom tethered me to the car so I could go look for you..." He glanced at the baby's hand. "Hey, matches! Neat!"   
  
And Ryouga struck one.  
  
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!  
  
And thus, the Hibiki family vacation once again ended in mass murder and bloodshed. Only this time, they managed to take the Saotomes with them to their grizzly deaths.  
  
Unless of course, there's a sequel...  
  
THE END?  
(maybe...maybe not...)  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
-----  
Contact Info if you are a gas station attendent hentai fan:  
pleasedunthurtme@Ihavbrittlebones.com  
  
-----  
  
Contact Info for everyone else:  
ashez2ashes@yahoo.com  
aim: ashes chan  
http://www.geocities.com/ashez2ashes/ 


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